In the midst of CHANGE...

 ...don't know what it is but everytime i go through certain change, be it external or internal, i tend to crawl up in my cave and don't come up for days and sometimes even weeks. I love writing...and although this is so, i run away from it when i am going through something.

There have been a few things going on lately.  Where do i start? Well, they have been hanging out "lay-off" letters at my job recently for the past two weeks. The feeling of uncertainty was eating people up and it showed in their attitudes and demeanor. The "not-knowing" factor really got the best of people and it sure put a lot of things in perspective.

How do you go from "having" something to "not having" it?

Well, at one point i started hoping for the best but i did not have a clue whether i was going to get a letter or not. One day i was coming back to the office from lunch and was immediately called into my supervisor's office. If i can recall, my heart sunk.! I remember thinking of the worst scenario...literally i pictured myself unemployed. I lost control of my positive thoughts and was sumerged in what i call "negativity at its best."

However, God and the universe had other plans for me! It just so happened that i was handed a "transfer" letter instead.  I am being transfered to another department with the same title and with the same pay.  For some reason, it was a shock for me.  Instead of being extremely grateful, i felt nostalgic.  I dealt with this feeling for a week or so (it felt long). I just didn't know what to make of it. I felt horribly for my other co-workers that indeed got what they mostly feared. How to feel happy for not being in their group? I was experiencing mixed emotions.

It is now that i am writing this post and after a virtual "wake-up" slap from a friend of mine, is that i realize how blessed i am. I had lost my positive perspective...i had forgotten how God works in misterious ways. I had been craving a change for sooooo long and that it almost seemed surreal.  I have always struggled with the concept of "timing." I had the erroneous idea that nothing good happened to me...but it always been the other way around.  The things i have gone through in life, have been the things i needed to go through ...in order for me to be able to write about them and give testimony.  Everything has been GREAT, i just decided to no see the good in them .

Sometimes we provoke change and sometimes change is forced upon us. Either way, we can decide what to make out of it. I can make it a smooth and positive transition or become imprisoned by fear and doubt. IT IS UP TO ME.!!!

It is merely a "letting go" process.  I don't know what my new duties will be yet nor where i will be working or how it will go...but do i really need to know how everything will come to pass all the time? Do i need to worry about it ahead of time? NOOOOO!  I trust that God allowed me to make it this far and has not left my side, then everything will be just fine and how HE would have it.!

Change...Letting go...Trust...Hope...Allow...are all synonyms for me from now on! I refuse to question the Divine plan.

Thank you Lord for carrying me through my path...

Although i don't always understand your purpose, YOU have a clear perspective in sight!

I am looking forward to a new beginning, to seeing new faces and new opportunities...

I start my new job on NOV 2nd. ;)

I am truly blessed...

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
Wayne Dyer