There has been this situation that has had me feeling kind of puzzled and bit woozy. I mean woozy in the sense that I feel like I am in a roller coaster ride of some sort...going up and down all the time. I haven't found a way how to resolve it. The reason i feel like this is because i feel i have no control over it...or maybe i do but i don't feel ready to take the next step.
I know myself and i struggle with letting go. I like to control everything and have some sort of assurance of things all the time. So, that is why in this case i am in "some" way letting go and letting time do its thing. It is difficult though because my ego does not like this. I am trying to stop my impulses from getting the best of me. Many times in the past i have reacted impulsively and it has not brought me good memories.
Although i hardly talk about this struggle, it helps to write or to talk to someone about it. It is a blessing that i was able to talk to my best friend today about this. When i mean my best friend i mean my mom! Being that i am a very private person i don't talk much to anyone about my personal life and i am very comfortable with that. I do open up to my mom from time to time and at times we don't agree but on the most part, she always ends up saying something that kind of puts my anxiety and restlessness at ease.
Where am i going with this post? Well...i thought it would be of importance (and as reminder to myself) to point out that there will be situations that life will throw at our feet and these will make us very uncomfortable. They may also seem endless and as if there was no way out. I myself don't have all the answers either. I don't know the "how" nor the "when."
One thing is for sure...I have not gone through any of my difficult phases in my life in vain. I have always learned something...i have come out stronger, wiser and with an impressive humility. I have also learned that there is always someone there to see you throught it...and sometimes that person is the one you least expected to be by your side. No matter how dark it has gotten, the sun has always shined through...eventually.
When any of these uncomfortable situations arise, it is best to STOP in our tracks and not "react" impulsively to them. There are lessons we need to learn and no one ever said it would be easy...whoever did, lied. Everything in life is a process. We live to learn very important lessons and until we truly learn them and only then, we are able to move forward...guess where?...YES! to our next lesson. It seems never ending but there is always a way and that way is through.
Such is life...unpredictabe and surprising. I don't understand it sometimes and i realize i really don't need to make such effort. It is what it is! I need to trust that i am at the right place at the moment. If i am not, such changes will come at the right time. This is called letting go of trying to control everything. Letting God and Life do their thing.
So... for now i will breathe and trust.
No comments:
Post a Comment